So, Last night, before heading to the Sydney Opera House we decided to pop in to Jackson’s On George (George St, Sydney) for a pre-symphony bite to eat. That was not one of my better decisions, I’m afraid.

Generally acceptable for a weekday lunch, Friday evening dinner (or early evening snacks, as it were)doesn’t seem to be their forte. Or even their pianissimo.

Let’s talk about their Nachos. As most of us would know, this is a Mexican dish. Mexico is, what, maybe 7000 or so miles from Italy? So, chef, how about you try to make your Nachos at least a little bit like it might have come from Mexico?

Let’s start with your ingredients: Mozarella cheese is not found on Nachos. Neither is bolognese sauce. Nor is cress. Talk about clueless dipshit chefs! How about you use some cumin and coriander as seasoning for your meat. Shredded beef, or ground, is fine. Chillies? Yes please.

If you can’t find Jack cheese, then you’re not trying, but rather than mozzarella, try some cheddar, at a pinch.

Maybe some salsa on the side. Or the top. And perhaps some Guacamole. Not made in a blender.Of course, judging by last night’s fare, getting you to make a half decent guac would, indeed, be a challenge.

Maybe you should stop watching Masterchef, and learn about different regional cuisines? Perhaps by getting off your arse and visiting those regions?

Let’s now talk about the shared seafood platter. For two. For two little kids, that is. The portions were that stingy.

Three pieces of calamari, four miniscule slivers of some sort of white fish. Battered and deep fried to within an inch of their lives. Indeed, a couple these pieces were, in point of fact, air fish: there was lots of air inside the fried bubble of breadcrumbs, but very little fish. Two slices of smoked salmon, a couple of scallops and a half dozen prawns fulfilled the remained of the seafood contingent here.

Below the alleged seafood we there was a platter of Mediterranean antipasto. This was acceptable, except that we’d ordered a seafood platter, and I don’t recall seeing this mentioned on the menu. Ah well.

Next time we’ll dine elsewhere.